Noodles
by This Coffee Tastes Like Crap
Summary: CRACKFICS! Just so I can procrastinate on writing the angsty mess that's "Blood Trigger" :P Follow Chika, Izuho, Akane and Kitora talk about Megane-kuns, yakuza bosses, and other Border-related antics! (I take requests) 5. Kitora Ai, A-Rank Waifu: Fanatic devotion and bad photoshop lead to yet another hospital visit.
1. Noodles

**Title:** Noodles

 **Rating:** T for "The Talk"

 **Paring** : OsaChi (Osamu x Chika)

 **Summary:** Akane, Izuho, and Kitora attempt to explain the miracle of life to Chika, since Osamu apparently did a crappy job of it (in Kitora's opinion).

* * *

"Do I…like anyone?"

"Yeah!" Izuho affirmed excitedly as she, Chika, and Akane sat down in a restaurant that the redhead insisted they try. "I mean, there's _so_ many good looking guys in Border, right!?"

"Yeah!" Akane agreed, "I mean, you're the only girl in your team, right?"

Chika felt her face warm up. "W-well there's still Usami-sempai…"

"Yeah, but Kuga-san seems so cuddly!" Izuho laughed, "I think you two would go great together!"

Akane shook her head. "No no," she replied, "it's Megane-kun that she should be with! He's taller than her so he could wrap his arms around her and hold her…maybe even carry her around on his shoulders!"

"W-what!?" Chika exclaimed, her face heating up even more. "I-I—Osamu-kun's just a really good friend! He's been protecting me ever since my brother disappeared…"

She trailed off, looking down at her food.

"Oh…" Izuho said understandingly, "He _really_ cares about you, huh…?"

"He's your knight in shining armor," Akane agreed, nodding sagely.

"I-It's not…like that…" she murmured, "I just…he just…"

"Are you three _slacking_?" a third voice asked, approaching their table. "I thought you'd be doing homework or something."

"K-Kitora-san!" Chika greeted, "We're just eating some food before we head home…"

"Question is, aren't _you_ slacking?" Izuho asked, "Usually _you'd_ be training still, right?"

Kitora's face reddened slightly. "I-I'm allowed to take occasional breaks," she muttered, looking away. "But only because I'm already so talented—"

"Wait, Kitora-san," Akane interrupted, "We were talking about who we like—do _you_ like anyone?"

The Arashiyama Ace turned back to her, eyes wide and face even redder than before. "O-of _course_ not—!"

"You like Karasuma-sempai, right?" Chika asked timidly.

The entire table went silent as the three of them watched all the color in Kitora's face vanish.

"I mean…that's what Osamu-kun guessed," she admitted, "he said he figured that's why you're so cold towards him—because you're jea—"

She stopped abruptly when Kitora slammed a hand on the table, staring directly into her eyes.

"Uh oh…" Akane murmured, "…you said too much, Chika-kun…"

"Did Osamu-kun actually say that?" she demanded, eyes almost feral as a shadow covered her face. "Did he say I was… _jealous_ of him?"

"I…uh…" Chika looked away nervously, "I-I—"

"I'm _not_ jealous of him!" Kitora interrupted, "He's a weakling who can barely fight for himself! There's nothing to be _jealous_ of!"

"…other than having Karasuma-san as a sempai," Izuho coughed.

Kitora stood up and glared at her, only to avert her eyes. "I-I'm not…jealous of that…"

Akane laughed out loud. "Yeah, right!"

"Who do _you_ like?" Kitora demanded, "huh!?"

"Suwa-san," Izuho answered immediately.

"Pompadour-sempai seems pretty good looking," Akane replied thoughtfully, "and he's nice too…"

The ace blinked for a moment, raising an eyebrow at the C-rank agent. "… _Suwa_ -san!? You like _Suwa_ -san!?"

"H-He's pretty cool!" Izuho said defensively, "And he has a hilarious personality!"

"…okay," Kitora muttered, rolling her eyes as she turned to Chika. "And I'm willing to bet _you_ like Osamu-kun, right?"

"I-no…" Chika murmured, shaking her head. "N-not like that…"

Kitora's eyes seemed to gleam with mischievous (or malicious) intent as she smirked almost evilly.

"Do you like being around him a lot?"

"I-well…of course," Chika replied uncertainly, "He's fun to be around…"

"Do you get nervous when he touches you?"

"Whoa-whoa, Kitora-san—!" Akane interjected, only to be cut off again.

"Not really," Chika answered, "He likes to pat my head on occasion, like when we win a rank battle or sometimes just because. It's not that uncommon, and I don't mind when he does it at all."

The other three stared at Chika, eyes wide. "…that's the cutest thing I've ever heard," Izuho stated, "I can see him doing that!"

"So can I!" Akane agreed, "That's so adorable!"

Kitora exhaled through her nose, almost like a bull ready to charge. "Do you think he'd make a good father?"

"What the—what are you _asking_!?" Izuho demanded, "That's—!"

"Of course," Chika replied with a smile, causing the other three's jaws to drop. "Osamu-kun is a very caring person, and I think he'd be great around children—his name means 'discipline' after all!"

Kitora's eyes were wide with shock while Akane and Izuho glanced at each other with grins on their faces.

"F-fine then," Kitora said, narrowing her eyes. "…would you _sleep_ with him?"

"K- _Kitora-san!_ " Akane almost screamed.

"Why would you _ask_ something like that!?" Izuho demanded.

Chika cocked her head to the side. "We do sleep with each other, on occasion."

The other three girl's faces became as white as a sheet.

"…y-you…sleep with Osamu-kun…?" Kitora stammered, her left eye twitching unnoticeably.

"Yeah," Chika replied, "sometimes I crawl into his bed when I have nightmares, and there was one time when he accidentally sleepwalked into my room and slept in my room. I couldn't wake him up so I just crawled into bed with him…"

The three let out a collective sigh of relief.

"She didn't get it…" Akane whispered to Izuho.

"Does that mean she doesn't know what it is?" Izuho whispered back.

Kitora rolled her eyes. "That…nevermind," she muttered, "What I meant was…would you have _sex_ with him?"

"Kitora…san…" Akane whispered, "…I don't think…"

"Um…" Chika put a hand to her chin, thinking for a moment.

…and another moment.

…and another moment.

…and another moment.

…aaaaaaaaand another—

"…why the hell do you need to _think_ about this!?" Kitora demanded suddenly, "I mean—Is is a _yes_ or a _no_!?"

"…I don't think I'd trust anyone else with something so intimate…" Chika murmured, "…so I don't know…maybe?"

Kitora put her face in her hands, Akane's noodles fell from her chopsticks, and Izuho almost passed out.

"… _MAYBE!?_ " Kitora demanded, "What the ever loving _hell_ —!?"

"W-well I would like to have children one day," Chika explained, blushing slightly. "But…I can't think of anyone else who I can trust to raise them with me other than Osamu-kun…is that bad?"

"I…no…" Kitora sighed, still covering her face. "T-that means…you _definitely_ like Osamu-kun…"

"…it does?"

"Y-yeah…"

The four fell silent, not quite sure what to do with this information.

"…I guess…I like Osamu-kun then," Chika decided with a nod.

"You're surprisingly calm about this," Akane murmured, "I mean…most girls would be freaking out, but you…"

"Wait wait wait," Kitora interrupted as a thought occurred to her, "when I asked you about sex, you said you wouldn't mind 'having children with him'…but what about the _sex_ part?"

"I…don't quite know what that is," Chika murmured, "I know it's where babies come from, but the way Osamu-kun—"

"That _idiot_ explained to you what _sex_ was!?" Kitora roared, "Chika, you need to ask other _girls_ these types of things—that idiot shouldn't—he _can't_ —!"

"M-my mom never told me!" Chika stammered, "A-and when I asked Osamu-kun's mom she told me to ask him!"

The other three girls stared at each other, thinking the same thing.

 _Osamu's mom is trying_ way _too hard..._

Kitora glanced at the other two, who were suspiciously silent. "…oh, would you look at the time—"

"W-wait, Kitora-san!" Chika exclaimed, "C-can you…tell me what sex is?"

The ace turned to the other two girls, who suddenly were stuffing their faces with food.

 _"You_ brought it up," Akane said with a full mouth, " _you_ have to explain it."

"I-what—!?"

" _Please_ Kitora-san?" Chika asked, bowing her head.

"I…" Kitora sighed, scratching the back of her head as she started to rethink some of her life decisions. "…move over. I'm tired of standing."

Chika quickly scooted over and made room for the ace, who sat down next to her. "Okay…" she murmured, "what do you already _know_ about sex?"

"I know that the man inserts his seed into the woman," Chika answered easily, "and the seed fertilizes the egg—"

"Alright," Kitora interrupted, pinching the bridge of her nose, "do you know _how_ the man puts his seed in the woman?"

"Um…something about a…'phallus' I think…?"

Kitora face palmed. "Okay, the 'phallus' is a fancy term for…uh…"

It was on the tip of her tongue ( _well_ that _sounds like the start of a sexual joke_ , she thought with a roll of her eyes) but for some reason she just couldn't say it—

"Oh yeah!" Chika interrupted, "the 'pen—'"

" _Yes_ , that…" the ace covered the girl's mouth and looked around in paranoia, suddenly acutely aware that they were in a _restaurant_ filled with other patrons. "…On second thought, we shouldn't talk about this _here_ …"

Apparently, the other two girls disagreed.

"You know the little noodle that guys have between their legs?" Izuho explained crassly, "They stick that in the little crease between your legs."

Chika looked completely confused. "…what? Kitora-san, is that true?"

The Arashiyama Ace was reduced to physically restraining herself from flipping the table and strangling the C-Rank to death. "Okay…" she muttered, " _obviously_ Osamu-kun wasn't… _descriptive_ enough about where babies come from—"

"He said it was like a flower," Chika murmured, "when I asked him to explain it in non-medical terms…"

 _So the asshole was so descriptive that it didn't make any sense_ , _only to explain it in such a roundabout way that makes even_ less _sense!?_ Kitora seethed, _Damn it Osamu-kun, you fucking cop-out!_

"Actually, I can see that," Akane said, "I mean the guy plants a seed in the girl, the seed becomes fertilized and grows into a baby, then bursts forth from the woman like a flower, continuing to grow and live on its own!"

Kitora literally slammed her head against the table, letting out a loud groan.

"I-I guess I didn't know how the boy puts the seed in the girl," Chika laughed nervously, subconsciously crossing her legs. "…that's really…weird…"

"Can I go now?" Kitora muttered into the table, "I should really get going—"

"Kitora-sempai?"

Everyone at the table froze, recognizing the voice immediately.

"O…Osamu…kun…" Kitora stammered, slowly lifting her head from the table. "H…hi…"

Akane and Izuho averted their eyes after a mumbled greeting.

"Hi, Osamu-kun!" Chika greeted cheerfully, "What brings you here?"

"I was actually looking for you," the Megane-kun replied sheepishly, "I heard from Ema-san that you were here—Kitora-san, is that a bruise on your forehead?"

The ace reached a hand up to her forehead, wincing when pain pricked her skin in response.

"Oh, this…?" she laughed nervously, "I…was training…and…"

"You can't get bruises while in your Trion body," Osamu pointed out.

"O-Oh yeah…" Kitora racked her brain for another response. "…I ran into a pole?"

Osamu raised a disbelieving eyebrow, yet to her relief didn't comment anymore on the subject.

"So Chika," he said, turning to his teammate. "Reiji was wondering if you wanted to join all of us at Tamakoma for movie night—he said that Jin-san predicted that it'd be good already…"

"That's got to be an annoying Side-Effect," Akane said sadly, "not being able to enjoy movies because you keep predicting the ending…"

"Actually, he can control that," Chika put in, "he said that if he avoids looking into other people's futures, the movie won't be spoiled for him."

"Ooh," Izuho murmured, "that's good—that means he can enjoy movies and anime!"

"But it sounds like he already saw it," Akane pointed out, "unless he saw it already?"

"I'll come either way," Chika answered, "it's getting pretty late, anyway…"

"I'll walk you there," Osamu offered, "It's not _too_ far…"

Akane and Izuho elbowed each other, and Kitora couldn't take it anymore.

"I need to talk to you for a moment," she seethed, taking the glasses-clad brunette by his tie and dragging him outside.

When they made it outside, she turned on him with fury. "What the _hell_ is wrong with you!?"

"…did you want to come too?" he asked, looking completely confused.

"When did you give Chika, 'The Talk'!" she demanded, pulling tighter on his tie and making him wheeze. "You did a _very_ shitty job of it!"

"…oh… _that_ …" Osamu muttered, "um…she asked, and I answered…?"

"That's _got_ to be some bullshit," Kitora cursed, "What happened!?"

Osamu sighed, pushing up his glasses that somehow glinted seriously. "…I told her to ask someone else," he murmured, "that I wasn't the best suited for it…"

"… _and_ …?"

There was a pause, and Osamu sighed again. "…she said that if I didn't tell her, she'd look it up on the internet since no one else would tell her."

Kitora's eyes widened in horror as she let go of his tie. "…now you understand why I had no choice?" he asked, "Chika would have been scarred for life, so I explained it as medically as possible so she'd ask for a more vague answer, thus allowing me to explain it in a roundabout enough way to avoid her being scarred for life—though that _still_ would have been better than what she could have come across on the internet…"

As much as she hated to admit it, Osamu was right—the was no _telling_ what poor Chika would find out there. Kitora herself had even stumbled upon horrible, _horrible_ abominations while looking up the most innocent of things—if Chika was actively _looking_ for it, there was _no way_ she was going to come back the same person she was before. Hell, even _Izuho's_ explanation probably was less severe than whatever Chika could've come across while on the internet…

"…fine," she conceded, turning and abruptly walking away. "I see your point. _Just_ …keep taking care of her, okay?"

"Of course," Osamu replied with a smile, "you don't have to worry…"

"I wasn't worrying..." she muttered as she left, though she couldn't stop the small smile as she rolled her eyes.

* * *

O-M-A-K-E

* * *

"So..." Izuho said, turning back to Chika. "Would you let Osamu-kun put his noodle in you?"

Chika was silent, debating her answer.

"Its perfectly okay to say no," Akane added gently, "You're pretty young anyway..."

"I can't imagine anyone's noodle inside me," Chika admitted finally, looking down at the table.

"Neither can I," Izuho agreed, "guys are cute, but I don't want any noodles yet."

Akane stared down at her ramen and pushed it away. "Me neither..."

"...but I'm sure Osamu-kun wouldn't hurt me," Chika finished, "so I don't think I would mind..."

Izuho and Akane stared at each other for a moment, a really, _really_ bad idea popping into their heads.

* * *

O-M-A-K-E-II

* * *

"Ready to go, Chi—?"

Osamu stopped dead in his tracks, eyes wide with horror at the scene before him.

"This looks like a good video!" Izuho said, pointing at Akane's smart phone. "'Virgin makes passionate love with a—' Oh… _oh_ _ **nononono**_ **_NOT_** that one! That's a _baaad_ one!"

"You keep on pointing out all the weird ones!" Akane huffed, "Here's one; 'girl gets her—' –actually yeah **_no_** that's no good either…"

"T-this really isn't necessary…" Chika whimpered, head turned away from the screen. "Guys…"

"Wait wait _wait_!" Izuho shouted, "Here's one—'Man and Wife have insatiable se—'"

Osamu promptly plucked the phone out of the girls' hands causing the two to protest.

"W-wait—!" Akane exclaimed in confusion.

"We _just_ found a decent one!" Izuho whined.

The Megane-kun said nothing, merely walking out the door.

"…what's he doing with my phone?" Akane asked fearfully.

"It looks like he's gonna…" Izuho trailed off as Osamu drew his arm back—

—and hurled the phone as far as humanly possible.

"N- _no_!" Akane screamed, "T-th-that thing's _expensive_! My mom will _kill_ me!"

"Hurry, we need to find it!" Izuho exclaimed, "I didn't get a chance to exit the screen!"

As the two of them dashed after the readhead's phone, Osamu calmly walked back into the shop and over to Chika who watched her friends sprint into the sunset.

"Ready to go?" he asked kindly.

"Mm-hmm!" Chika replied as she stood, subconsciously holding onto Osamu's hand.

He stiffend for a brief moment, but right when Chika began to draw her hand back from embarrassment he closed her fingers around hers and smiled.

"Let's go then."

* * *

O-M-A-K-E-III

* * *

"So, Kitora-kun," Arashiyama said as they and the rest of their unit relaxed quietly in their squad room. "I heard that you helped out Chika-kun a lot yesterday."

"How so?" she asked, flipping disinterestedly through a magazine. "I was more or less coerced into sitting with them, but we had an… _interesting_ conversation…"

"I'll say," Satori laughed, "what was it that Izuho-chan said? Something about noodles?"

Kitora froze, her heart caught in her throat.

"'You know the little noodle that guys have in between their legs?'" Tokieda quoted, "'They stick that in the little crease between your legs' I believe."

Haruka burst into laughter. "I can't believe she just said that outright," she snorted, "poor Chika-kun was _so_ confused…"

"At least Osamu-kun had attempted to explain it beforehand," Arashiyama shrugged, "Imagine if Chika had tried to look it up _online_ …"

"That thought alone gives me chills…" Satori whimpered, "Chika-kun's innocence would have been _destroyed_ …"

"So you did her a service by trying to explain it yourself," Arashiyama praised, "You saved Chika-kun a world of pain and suffering…"

Kitora suddenly lost the ability to breathe. "H-how did you even…?"

Satori raised a guilty hand.

"He was out with Yoneya, Izumi and Shun to eat when he saw you come in," Tokieda replied, smirking slightly. "He saw and heard the whole thing—Yoneya even went with him outside and spied on you after you dragged Osamu-kun out by his tie and made him explain himself…"

"It was hilarious," Satori admitted, "though it's nice to know that you have a heart after all!"

The rest of the unit erupted in laughter and agreement while Kitora just hid her face in her magazine, plotting to kill them all.

* * *

 **Idk why but Kitora has become one of my favorite characters to write about :P**

 **And fubukitasuku999 convinced me to make this a one-shot collection, so nyeh.**


	2. C-Rank A-Holes

**Title:** C-Rank A-Holes

 **Summary:** Kitora doesn't care what anyone says, Osamu can't 'smack a bitch' if he tried.

 **Rating:** B for "Bitch-ass A-holes" [Translation="T"]

 **Warning: brief mention of fugitive arc…might as well read it :P**

"You know what confuses me?" Izuho asked, "How siblings can come from the same parents and look completely different from each other!"

"You're right!" Akane agreed, "Sometimes you don't even realize that they're related…"

Chika nodded in agreement as the three girls sat once again in the restaurant Chika's innocence was endangered in, due to the fact that despite the circumstances the food was just as good as Akane predicted.

"My brother has blonde hair and dark eyes," Chika pointed out, "and yet I have dark hair and purple eyes…we don't look alike at all."

"Really?" Akane asked, "I've never seen him before, but that's pretty interesting…"

"It sounds like he looks more like _me_!" Izuho laughed, and the other two joined in agreement.

"I wonder how Yuma got his white hair though," Akane pondered, crossing her arms and thinking. "That's not normal, is it? Though he _is_ a foreigner…"

"Megane-kun doesn't really look much like his mom either," Izuho pointed out, "I met her while he was in the hospital—I thought it was his _sister_ for a second, but it turns out I was wrong…"

Chika shrugged. "They act alike, though…"

"I don't know about that," Izuho said, precariously balancing a chopstick on her nose. "She seemed super calm, almost like a doll or something! In a nice way, of course!"

"I think Osamu's pretty expressive," Akane agreed, "unless we're just completely wrong…"

"No no, you're both right," Chika assured, idly wondering how Osamu-kun had once again become their topic of conversation. "But they look the most alike when they're upset."

Akane and Izuho turned to the brunette, eyebrows raised.

"Osamu-kun…upset?" Izuho asked, "I…somehow can't imagine that…"

"I've seen him, like, laser focused," Akane said thoughtfully, "that one time that our teams fought, remember? But…he didn't seem 'upset' per se…"

Chika put a hand on her chin, thinking for a moment. "He very rarely gets mad," she said, "I can only remember two times that I saw him that way—once was when we helped those Neighbors Xeno and Lilith, and Osamu-kun… _disagreed_ with something Xeno said, the other…"

"What happened the other time?" Izuho asked, "Did he lose his temper?"

"Oh no," Chika answered immediately, "not once had I ever seen him fully lose his temper…but one time he had gotten pretty close…"

Akane and Izuho leaned in closer, anticipating the story to follow.

* * *

 _"_ _Kitora-san," Chika greeted as she encountered the Arashiyama Ace in one of the many, confusing hallways of Border Headquarters._

 _"_ _What are you doing out here?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "Your squad room is on the other side of the headquarters!"_

 _"…_ _I'm sorry," Chika apologized, bowing her head slightly. "I-I just—"_

 _"_ _Don't worry about it," Kitora interrupted flippantly, "I'll just walk you back to the main room and you can find your way back from there, right?"_

 _"_ _Y-yes!" Chika replied, bowing again. "T-thank you very much!"_

 _The two of them made their way down the hallway, an awkward silence following their footsteps._

 _"_ _Um…Kitora-san?"_

 _Chika flinched slightly at the ace's naturally harsh glare. "What?"_

 _"_ _I-I had a question," she continued, looking down at the floor. "…are you rivals with Osamu-kun?"_

 _"…_ _we're here," Kitora answered, opening the door to the main room. "Try not to get lost again, okay?"_

 _The girl smiled and bowed in thanks, missing the faint blush on Kitora's cheeks as she mumbled a "you're welcome" and left. Chika watched her go and heaved a sigh, preparing herself for the second attempt to find her own squad room._

 _"_ _Well, isn't it the Amatori Cannon!"_

 _Chika turned and saw three unfamiliar C-Ranks before her—no…she recognized them eventually._

 _"_ _Um…hi…" she pointed to the first one. "…Teruteru…?"_

 _"_ _Damn straight!" the black haired boy affirmed, puffing out his chest._

 _"_ _And…Fumifumi…?"_

 _"_ _You bet!"_

 _"_ _And…um…" Chika racked her brain for the last one. "…There's an 'H' in yours, right?"_

 _The other two boys laughed at the third's crestfallen face. "It's 'Hidehide!'" he answered indignantly, crossing his arms and pouting._

 _"…_ _right, sorry," she apologized, "It's…it's nice to see you guys are doing well, but I need to go—"_

 _"_ _We ain't done with you yet, girl!" Teruteru sneered in a yakuza kind of way, grabbing Chika's shoulder while puffing a cigar._

 _Then suddenly Osamu appeared behind them like a ninja, glasses tinting all scary-like._

 _"_ _Do I need to smack a bitch?" Osamu asked, dangerously pushing up his glasses while looking super serious._

 _And then the three of them died instantly because they couldn't handle Osamu's "Megane Powers"._

 _"_ _Apparently not," the Megane-kun nodded in approval. "Are you okay, Chika?"_

 _Chika nodded, swooning at Osamu's manliness. "I'm just fine, Osamu-kun…"_

 _And then he whisked her away into the sunset, and Kitora rolled her eyes._

* * *

Chika blinked in confusion. "…Kitora-san?"

"I'm pretty sure Osamu-kun wouldn't 'smack a bitch'," Kitora sighed, motioning Chika to move over and sitting down beside her. "And why did those C-Ranks suddenly turn yakuza halfway through?"

"Osamu-kun's glasses sometimes _do_ tint all scary-like though!" Akane insisted, "I've _seen_ it!"

"And those three are annoying _jerks_ ," Izuho replied, "especially if they were messing with Chikako!"

Kitora rolled her eyes again. "Whatever," she muttered, "are you going to let her finish the story?"

"Are you interested?" Akane asked with a grin, "I'm willing to bet you've never seen Osamu-kun angry before either, huh?"

"Wrong," the ace deadpanned, "but I can't see him getting mad at _anyone_. It's just not in his nature."

"It's not," Chika agreed, "but the one time he _did_ get angry, it felt like watching a storm gather over the ocean—you watch helplessly as it advances towards you, yet you're powerless to stop it."

The other three girls blinked at the vivid imagery.

"That…sounds terrifying," Akane shivered, "like… _really_ terrifying."

"Yeah…" Izuho shuddered, "I better stay on Osamu-kun's good side…"

The Arashiyama Ace scoffed, rolling her eyes. "I'm pretty sure that's an exaggeration," she stated, "I mean it's _Osamu-kun_ we're talking about…"

"That's what makes it so _scary_!" Akane exclaimed, "When levelheaded people get angry, that means something _really_ bad had to have happened—when have you _ever_ seen Tokieda-san upset?"

Kitora opened her mouth to protest, only to close it again. Not _once_ has she seen much emotion from Tokieda at all (aside from that stupid smirk from when he was making fun of her for what has been dubbed 'The Great Noodle Incident' among trainees, damn him) let alone _anger_ …

"…I see your point," she decided, crossing her arms. "But I won't decide that until I hear the _actual_ story— ** _without_** any anecdotes from you two."

"Roger, Ace-sempai!" Izuho saluted.

"You got it, Ace-sempai!" Akane followed, doing the same.

"It's _Kitora-san_ to you!" Kitora snapped, "You're not my kouhai and I don't want any stupid nicknames from _you_ two!"

"What if Karasuma-san called you Ace-sempai?" Izuho asked, smirking deviously.

"'Oh, Ace-sempai…'" Akane mimicked, keeping her face straight. "'You're my little—'"

"You know that Border triggers won't kill you," Kitora seethed, "you'll just pass out from the pain."

That got the two of them to shut up instantly.

"That's what I thought," she muttered, crossing her arms. "Chika?"

"Right," Chika nodded, proceeding with her story.

* * *

 _"…_ _right, sorry," she apologized, "It's…it's nice to see you guys are doing well, but I need to go—"_

 _"_ _Not before you battle us first!"Teruteru declared, pointing directly at her. "Battling a B-rank agent will be a surefire way to fame—you're B-rank, right?"_

 _Chika nodded, eyes wide in confusion. "I-I don't think Osamu or Yuma-kun would want to—"_

 _"_ _Not a_ team _rank battle!" Fumifumi interjected, "You're going to fight Teruteru-sempai head-to-head!"_

 _"_ _Yeah!" Hidehide agreed, "Then we'll become A-rank for sure!"_

 _Panic clutched at Chika's chest. "I…I'd rather not—"_

 _"_ _What, are you_ scared _?" Teruteru taunted, "You_ sure _you're B-rank? You won't make it to A-rank with_ that _attitude!"_

You won't make it to A-rank.

 _"…_ _Fine," Chika stated, clutching her fists._

 _"…_ _what was that?" Fumifumi asked, "Say that a bit louder, huh?"_

 _Chika took a deep breath and looked directly at Teruteru."I…I'll battle—"_

 _"_ _Like hell you are," Kitora muttered, appearing beside her. "You shouldn't stoop to their level."_

* * *

"…Kitora-san?"

"Sorry," the A-rank apologized, "but those three…"

"They're so _annoying_!" Izuho whined, " _They're_ the reason I want to get to B-rank—so I wouldn't have to deal with them anymore!"

"I've never heard of them before," Akane shrugged, "but I'm surprised that you took them on, Chika-kun."

"Well…I didn't really get a chance to," Chika admitted, "Because…"

* * *

 _"—_ _Chika?"_

 _The four turned and saw Osamu walking over to them, eyebrows furrowed with worry. "I texted you almost half an hour ago that we have to go over the plan for the next rank battle," he said, completely ignoring the three C-rank agents. "Is your phone on? Did you get lost?"_

 _"_ _I…got lost…" Chika admitted, bowing slightly. "I-I'm sorry…"_

 _"_ _It's fine," Osamu assured, lightly patting her on the head. "We need to hurry though because Usami-sempai's starting to come up with insane strategies that involve seduction and pop-tarts and Yuma-kun shouldn't be alone with her for too long or else—"_

 _"_ _We're not done with her yet!" Teruteru declared, grabbing Chika's arm and pulling her towards him. "We were gonna—"_

 _He stopped abruptly when Osamu gripped his wrist rather tightly, causing the C-rank to let go with a cry._

 _"_ _I'm sorry," the Megane-kun stated unapologetically, "but we're busy getting ready to fight other_ B-rank _agents. Perhaps another time."_

 _Chika stared as Osamu released Teruteru's wrist, an unreadable expression on his face as the C-rank scoffed._

 _"_ _What, you afraid she's gonna lose or something?" Fumifumi interjected with a sneer, "You don't need to baby her so much!"_

 _"_ _Are you confident you can win?" Osamu shot back calmly, causing the three C-ranks (and Chika) to flinch. "If you're trying to posture as a captain, you might as well challenge a B-rank captain, correct?"_

* * *

"Well Osamu certainly grew a pair," Kitora snorted, crossing her arms. "Even though he so weak himself…"

"You have to give him credit though," Akane pointed out, "He's still talented in his own way—it was pretty obvious when he beat our squad in rank wars…"

"Oh I'm sure he could beat those C-rank bozos easily," the ace agreed, "but he's not the type to posture like this—he _knows_ he's weak, which is why he's not as annoying as these a-holes. Besides I _highly_ doubt he'd even _say_ he'd 'smack a bitch' let alone _actually_ smacking one."

"A-rank? More like A- _holes_!" Izuho snorted, causing Akane to laugh insanely along with her.

Even Kitora smiled when she rolled her eyes. "Why am I even here…?"

"You wanted to hear the story, right?" Akane asked, trying to hold back her laughter and failing miserably. "Because we all want to see Mikumo-kun smack a bitch."

"For the last time, Osamu-kun _can_ not and _will_ not smack a bitch," the ace stated, "It's _Osamu-kun_. Right Chika?"

Chika only replied with a shrug, causing Kitora to pale slightly.

"…right?"

* * *

 _"_ _O-Osamu…kun…?" Chika stammered, "We should—"_

 _"_ _T-That won't be a problem!" Teruteru declared, "I can beat you in a heartbeat, just like I beat all those Neighbors during the Second Large Scale Invasion!"_

 _"_ _Um…Teruteru-sempai…?" Hidehide stammered, "He was the one who fought that rabbit-type when saving us, remember?"_

 _The lead C-rank agent paled slightly. "Y-you know what?" he asked, crossing his arms. "I'mma just pretend that you didn't disrespect me, and we can call it even yeah? L-lets go guys—"_

 _"_ _Do you know what the purpose of rank wars is?" Osamu interrupted suddenly, his face still showing no emotion whatsoever._

 _The three C-ranks glanced at each other nervously. "T-to advance to A-rank, of course!" Teruteru claimed, crossing his arms and grinning. "Why else—"_

 _"_ _Training," the Megane-kun finished, "to keep you moving almost constantly, to avoid becoming complacent in the event that a Large-Scale Invasion occurs."_

 _"_ _T…that too…" Teruteru stammered, averting his gaze. "B-but that doesn't take away from the fact that I can—"_

 _"_ _Team rank wars help solidify teamwork and put you in situations that could easily happen when out fighting neighbors," Osamu continued, "while solo battles are for refining your fighting style, learn to read an opponent's moves, and yes, move higher up in the ranks. What do these two purposes have in common?"_

 _Chika cocked her head to the side, thinking of the answer. "They can be used_ outside _of fighting Neighbors, right?"_

 _"_ _Y-yeah, what she said!" Teruteru agreed hastily, "Right guys?"_

 _This time the other two didn't even respond, only taking a step back as a deadly aura poured from the bespectacled brunette._

 _"_ _That's right," Osamu agreed, "but there's another thing they have in common."_

 _That answer came a lot easier to Chika, though she stayed quiet when she met Osamu's eyes for a brief moment._

 _"_ _It's pointless if you can't win!" Teruteru declared, smirking. "I don't need you to talk down on me—"_

 _"_ _It's pointless if you run like a_ bitch _at the slightest hint of difficulty," Osamu deadpanned, a shadow covering his face as his glasses tinted dangerously._

* * *

Izuho whistled. "Looks like you're wrong, Ace-sempai…"

" _See_!?" Akane exclaimed, "Mikumo-kun's glasses _do_ glint evilly sometimes! Chika-kun's seen it!"

Kitora's eyes were wide with shock. "…that's _got_ to be an exaggeration…"

Chika shook her head. "It's true," she said, "he really did say the 'B' word…he was _really_ upset at that point…"

"But I thought he would have stopped when the C-rank backed down from his challenge," Kitora pointed out, "I mean, I guess you could say he successfully scared him off then, but now he's just being _mean_ …"

"I think he was just trying to prove a point," Akane said thoughtfully, "because they sounded so sure they could beat Chika but chickened out when Osamu offered to fight in her stead."

"Like a knight in shining armor," Izuho agreed, nodding sagely.

"More like, 'pick on someone your own size,'" Kitora corrected, "I guess that makes sense…but still…"

* * *

 _"_ _What'd you call me!?" Teruteru demanded, having the audacity to grab Osamu by his collar._

 _"_ _I didn't call you anything," Osamu replied calmly, "I merely stated that the skills gained by rank battles are useless when you run like a bitch instead of using them. If that offended you then I apologize—I wasn't aware you were a coward."_

 _"_ _T-Teruteru sempai…" Fumifumi stammered, "P-people are looking…"_

 _Chika sighed when she noticed he was right—people had started to gather around and stare at the rapidly escalating situation._

 _"_ _Is that the Tamakoma-2 captain?"_

 _"_ _Yeah, and the Amatori Cannon too!"_

 _"_ _What are those C-ranks doing?"_

 _"_ _Are they going to fight?"_

 _Teruteru scoffed as he let go of Osamu's collar. "I-I'm not a_ coward _," he insisted with a smirk, "only second-rate people actually risk their lives—the only reason to climb the ranks of Border is for fame, not to become suicidal bastards like you! I'm not interested in being a hero!"_

 _"_ _Neither am I," Osamu replied, shocking the C-rank agents. "Don't get me wrong, I'm not perfect either. If I ran away from what I think I should do even once, then surely, I'd end up running away when I it matters most. I know the kind of person I am. I'm not doing it for others. I do it for myself."_

 _Suddenly the aura disappeared, and Osamu smiled kindly. "Instead of thinking of it as a death wish," he said gently, "think of it as being the model captain people want to look up to—_ then _you might actually get famous."_

 _Before Teruteru could respond, the Megane-kun turned to Chika. "Let's go," he said, "I'm not sure if Yuma-kun could hold off Usami-sempai much longer."_

 _Chika blinked several times, then smiled back. "Okay," she replied with a nod and the two of them walked away, ignoring the shocked stares of the C-ranks behind him._

* * *

"…wow," Akane said in awe, "that went zero to one-hundred back down to zero _really_ fast.

Kitora was sitting there, shaking her head. "Unbelievable…" she muttered, "he covered up his bullying by making it seem like a life lesson? That fucking cop-out…"

"I don't think it's bullying if they deserve it," Izuho declared, crossing her arms. "They put their hands on Chika—I'm surprised he didn't deck them in the chin!"

"No one _else_ is," Akane shot back, "This is _Osamu_ - _kun_ we're talking about…"

"The Osamu-kun that called someone a _bitch_ and got away with it," Kitora sighed, "That Megane-kun…and people still see him as the better man?"

The other three girls looked at the ace, who shrugged.

"I heard a rumor that's spreading like wildfire around the lower ranks," she explained, "That Osamu-kun had—and I'm _quoting_ this, this aren't _my_ own words—'A C-rank had tried to fight with him, and Osamu just called him a "little bitch" and "bitch slapped the shit out of him".'"

"Osamu-kun actually ended up punching him in the face later on," Chika admitted, quieting the table immediately. "Teruteru-san had tried to corner him in the hallway, but Osamu-kun punched him out in self-defense."

Izuho looked up suddenly, remembering something. " _That's_ why Osamu-kun took him to the infirmary?"

When she saw everyone's confused looks, she explained. "Pompadour-sempai said he saw Mikumo-kun carrying a C-rank into the infirmary a few days ago, and he wondered how he had injured himself while in his Trion form—and apparently he overheard Mikumo-kun telling the nurse to 'just go with it' and that 'he knows he's not really injured, but he won't stop whining'."

Chika shrugged. "Well, now Teruteru-san's been avoiding Osamu-kun like the plague so everything's okay."

Kitora shook her head. "If that's what you call fine," she murmured, "then yeah, I guess so…"

* * *

O-M-A-K-E

* * *

When their food eventually came, Kitora noticed something.

"…why am I the only one who got noodles?"

* * *

O-M-A-K-E-II

* * *

"Chika-kun!"

Chika looked up from her bowl or rice and smiled. "Hi Osamu-kun," she greeted, "are you walking me home again?"

"I-if you don't mind," he answered with a nod, "It's starting to get dark, so we should hurry."

"Hey Mikumo-kun," Akane said, "Kitora-san was asking about the time you called that C-rank a bitch and made him cry."

"W- _what_ —!?" Kitora exclaimed in confusion, "I—!"

"I-I didn't make him _cry_ ," Osamu interrupted defensively, "he was _faking_ it, I swear! You can't get bruised in your Trion body!"

Izuho and Akane burst into laughter, much to the Megane-kun's irritation and confusion.


	3. Cheeky

**So I Read "Bordering Trouble" by half_sleeping on AO3, and a crack ship was born (Osamu x Chika is still life, but I find this hilarious XD)**

 **Rating: C for "Cheek Pinching"**

 **Summary: Chika catches the eye of one of the most unlikely people in all of Border (and Osamu may or may not be pissed)**

* * *

"Chiiikaaaaaaa….." Izuho whined, "Don't destroy the OTP!"

"H-huh?" Chika asked, cocking her head in confusion. "What's an 'OTP'—?"

" _ONE TRUE PARING~!_ " Akane sang, throwing her arms up into the air. "You and Mikumo-kun are destined to be together!"

Chika shook her head, feeling her face heat up. "I-I highly doubt that…I don't even—"

"Nice try," a voice said behind her, "you confessed you liked him in the first chapter."

 _"W-well I would like to have children one day," Chika explained, blushing slightly. "But…I can't think of anyone else who I can trust to raise them with me other than Osamu-kun…is that bad?"_

 _"I…no…" Kitora sighed, still covering her face. "T-that means…you_ definitely _like Osamu-kun…"_

 _"…it does?"_

 _"Y-yeah…"_

 _The four fell silent, not quite sure what to do with this information._

 _"…I guess…I like Osamu-kun then," Chika decided with a nod._

"…Kitora-san?"

The Arashiyama Ace exhaled as Chika made room for her to sit down. "I didn't explain where babies come from just for you to deny everything two chapters later," she muttered, picking up a menu. "When are you guys going to get over that incident anyway? I want to eat my spicy ramen without snide remarks from you two."

Izuho and Akane scratched their heads, laughing nervously.

" _Anyway_ ," Akane deflected, "We were talking about Chika befriending a certain someone and endangering the OTP!"

"…really?" Kitora deadpanned, "You're _shipping_ them?"

Chika turned to the ace, seeming even more bewildered than before. "…'shipping'?"

"Shipping is the undying need for two people to get together," Izuho answered easily, "Example: you and Mikumo-kun."

"…oh."

" _Anyway_ ," Akane deflected again, "Chika, aren't you going to tell the story!?"

Chika shrugged. "I…I guess I can…"

* * *

 _"Oi, Yuzuru!" a voice practically snarled, causing everyone in the shooting range to turn towards the source._

 _"Kagura-san," Ema replied calmly, "Is something wrong?"_

 _"You were supposed to report back to the squad room, dipshit," Kagura growled, "We've been waiting for almost half an hour!"_

 _"I-I'm sorry!" Chika said suddenly, moving to stand in front of the squad captain. "I-I accidentally held him up asking for advice—it's my fault."_

 _Kagura Masato looked down at the brunette girl, raising an eyebrow. "…I know you," he stated, "You're that Trion monster, right?"_

 _Chika felt her face flush as Ema dissolved his riffle. "Kagura-san," he warned._

 _"I-It's okay," Chika assured both of them, "A-And I'm sorry again for make Yuzuru-kun late…"_

 _"It's…okay…" Kagura muttered, averting his eyes. "Just…stop doing that."_

 _"…doing what?" Chika asked, puzzled as she cocked her head to the side._

 _"_ That _," Kagura pointed out, "That…what the hell_ is _that!?"_

 _"Kagura-san," Ema repeated, "Just leave her alone, please."_

 _Kagura rolled his eyes. "Whatever," he huffed, "Let's get going."_

 _As they left, Chika waved goodbye. "Bye Yuzuru-kun, Kagura-san!"_

 _The captain stopped in his tracks, his shoulders tensing up. " **Stop.** "_

 _Chika winced, still not entirely sure what she was doing wrong. "I'm…sorry…?" she murmured, averting her eyes._

 _Kagura growled again, turning back around and towering over Chika._

 _"H-hey…" Izuho stammered, "K-Kagura—"_

 _Then without warning, he reached down and gently pinched Chika's cheeks._

 _"U…uh…" Chika felt her face catch fire as Kagura continued to play with her cheeks, a sneer still imprinted on his face._

 _"K…Kagura…san…?" Even Ema seemed completely baffled, eyes wide in shock. "What are you_ doing _…?"_

 _"She keeps on being cute," he mumbled, "and that pisses me the hell off."_

 _After a few more moments of soft cheek-pinching, Kagura let go. "…sorry," he grumbled, turning and leaving without another word._

 _Ema turned from Chika to the door his captain left, then back to Chika again. "…are you okay?" he asked, eyes still wide._

 _"Y-yeah…" Chika replied, rubbing her cheeks. "It just…took me off guard, I guess."_

 _"…okay," he replied, "…I guess I'll see you later."_

 _Chika nodded with a smile as Ema followed after his captain, still holding her cheek._

* * *

"What the _hell_!?" Kitora demanded, "He did _what_!?"

"I _know_ right!?" Akane asked, "It wasn't even _rough_ or anything—he just…"

"It was the _weirdest_ thing!" Izuho agreed, "Everyone was so confused…"

Chika nodded, subconsciously rubbing her cheeks. "Now that I think about it, it may have had to do with his Side-Effect," she said, "he's not really used to people being nice towards him, is he?"

Kitora rolled her eyes. "Maybe," she muttered, "but…pinching your cheeks…?"

"It _is_ a little cute though," Akane admitted, "but the OTP must live on!"

"Actually…" Chika trailed off, "You guys weren't there when that incident happened in the cafeteria, were you?"

The other three girls instantly went silent.

"…I didn't think so," Chika sighed, "Well…"

* * *

 _"I think I see Yuma over there," Osamu said, pushing up his glasses. "Let's go sit by him."_

 _Chika nodded in agreement as the two of them weaved their way through the tables towards their teammate. When they finally made it over there, it turned out Yuma wasn't alone._

 _"Hi Yuzuru-kun," Chika greeted as she sat beside Yuma, "Kagura-san."_

 _Kagura seemed to flinch at the sound of her voice. "Ugh," he scoffed, "it's_ you _."_

 _Osamu raised an eyebrow when the fellow captain not-so-subtly scooted closer to the Tamakoma sniper._

 _"Excuse me, Kagura san," he said respectfully, "Can I, uh—"_

 _"There's plenty of room next to Kuga over there," Kagura stated, "I don't feel like moving."_

 _"…you just did though," Osamu pointed out, "it was pretty conspicuous…"_

 _Chika winced at the rising tension. "Y-Yuma-kun…" she whispered, "C-can you move over a bit?"_

 _"Normally I would," Yuma replied, "but this is starting to get interesting…"_

 _"The_ fuck _did you say, punk!?" Kagura demanded, getting up from his seat and grabbing the Tamakoma-2 captain by his collar. "I'll beat your ass right now!"_

 _"It's not that big of a deal," Osamu said peacefully, "I'll just go sit next to Yuma then."_

 _"Kagura-san," Ema stated, "You're causing a scene."_

 _"You think I give a rat's ass about causing a scene!?" Kagura demanded, turning to his teammate. "This_ weakling _has the_ nerve _to—"_

 _"Kagura-san," Ema stated again._

 _Suddenly Kagura sputtered, letting go of Osamu's shirt. "What the_ fuck _!?" he demanded, "That's playing dirty, you asshole!"_

 _"What do you mean?" Osamu asked, voice full of worry. "Is it your Side-Effect?"_

 _"Don't give me that innocent bullshit!" Kagura roared, "Is that—_ murderous intent _!? What the_ fuck _!?"_

 _"Of course not!" the Megane-kun replied hastily, "I-I was a little annoyed, but it's not_ that _extreme! I-I'm sorry—"_

 _"I don't feel a single_ drop _of remorse, you fucker!" Kagura snapped, "Just—_ fuck _!"_

 _"G-guys…" Chika said weakly, "I…I can just sit in the middle…"_

 _"I was here first!" Kagura insisted, "That Megane-kun can go—"_

 _"I want to sit next to_ both _of you!" Chika interrupted a bit louder than intended._

 _After her outburst, it became painfully obvious that most of the cafeteria had gone quiet._

 _"_ Now _look at what you did…" Ema muttered, "Everyone's staring…"_

 _"…I'll just scoot over," Yuma said, moving to sit next to Ema on the clear other side of the table._

 _"T…thanks Yuma," Osamu replied, sitting on the other side of Chika._

 _Kagura seemed like he was the only one not satisfied with this new arrangement. "You didn't have to move, midget," he muttered, though he nonetheless took his previous spot at the table. "And_ you _didn't have to make such a big deal out of it, Megane-kun…"_

 _"I was willing to sit next to Yuma," Osamu pointed out, "though I'm sorry I triggered your Side-Effect."_

 _"Fuck you," was Kagura's blunt reply._

 _However, things seemed to have settled down, causing Chika to let out a sigh of relief._

* * *

"Okay," Kitora said, " _that_ was a cheap trick."

"That _was_ pretty mean…" Izuho agreed, "I'm surprised Osamu isn't _dead_ , to be honest…"

Chika shrugged, not quite understanding. "It wasn't Osamu-kun's fault," she said, "he was just annoyed…"

The other three girls raised their eyebrows at her, giving Chika the feeling she was missing something.

"Chika," Kitora stated, "Osamu obviously used Kagura's Side-Effect to piss him off—I mean come _on_ , 'murderous intent'?"

"How does one force malicious feelings towards someone on themselves?" Akane questioned, stroking her chin. "That must take concentration…"

"I'm just surprised it _worked_ ," Izuho said, "I would have thought Kagura would have known the difference… _unless_ —"

"I doubt it," Kitora cut off immediately, "He probably just focused on his irritation or something, causing it to affect Kagura a lot more than normal."

"Well…" Chika murmured, "…maybe he found out about Kagura pinching my cheeks and got mad?"

"That…makes a _lot_ of sense," Izuho agreed, "He doesn't want other guys touching his girlfriend!"

Chika felt her face flush again, but decided that arguing would be pointless.

* * *

O-M-A-K-E

* * *

"Hey Mikumo-kun," Akane said, "Chika told us about how you mind-fucked Kagura-san!"

Instead of dignifying that with a response, Osamu turned to Chika with a smile. "Are you ready to go?"

"Sure," Chika replied, "Excuse me, Kitora—"

"Not yet," Kitora stated, refusing to make way for her to stand. "Mikumo-kun, you really _are_ an asshole."

Realizing he wasn't going to get out of this, the Megane-kun sighed. "I couldn't help it," he murmured, "I wasn't even being confrontational and he was being overprotective…of _my_ teammate, no less…"

"Is that _jealousy_ I hear~?" Izuho sang, "I thought you were above that, Mikumo-kun~!"

"I'm usually better at covering it than most," Osamu replied dryly, "Just because I'm usually non-confrontational—"

"' _Non-confrontational_ '?" Kitora interrupted incredulously, "Mikumo-kun, last chapter you called a C-Rank a _bitch_ and punched him in the _face_."

"First off," Osamu stated, "I only called people who run away from a fight just because it's too hard _that_ word—"

" _What_ word?" Akane goaded, "You already said it in front of Chika, so you can't pull that card—!"

" _Second_ ," the Megane-kun continued stubbornly, "I only hit him because I _knew_ he wouldn't get hurt, and it was more of a _shove_ than a punch—"

"Because he was acting like a _what_ , Mikumo-kun?" Izuho baited, "Don't act so high and mighty just because we're girls!"

" ** _Third_** ," he gritted out, "I'm not just going to let someone—"

"—someone _what_ , Mikumo-kun?" Kitora asked, "Kagura wasn't disrespecting Chika like those C-Ranks were last chapter, so you can't claim that you were protecting her."

"Why are you breaking the fourth wall?" the Megane asked irritably, "Don't you mean _yesterday_?"

"Why are _you_ avoiding the question?" Kitora shot back, "Just admit it—you were upset that Kagura was starting to make moves on Chika."

Osamu raised an eyebrow at the ace. "If Konami-sempai just ran around pinching Karasuma-sempai's cheeks, what would you do?"

" _SHE DID **WHAT**_!?" Kitora roared, slamming her hands onto the table and standing. " _THAT TRAITOROUS—_!"

"I rest my case," Osamu sighed, "Chika?"

Chika scooted past Kitora with a mumbled "sorry" and stood up.

"…Mikumo-kun…" Kitora growled, "…you really _are_ an asshole."

* * *

 **Why do I always write Osamu as an asshole…?**


	4. Bad Luck Jun

**So…I live in another country now.**

 **The stress of moving completely stagnated any and every creative faucet I have, but now that we're settling down I finally have enough time to relax and write/draw.l :D I decided to start with my one-shot collection to get the juices flowing.**

 **Also apparently Natsume is Izuho's first name, not Izuho like I originally thought…though for continuity's sake I'll keep referring to her by her last name (also I'll get confused as hell trying to proofread, so…)**

* * *

 **Rating: T for "Traffic" (And also a bit of swearing at the end)  
**

 **Summary: Poor Kitora has a rough day babysitting one of the most (surprisingly) accident prone agents in all of Border.**

* * *

"So…" Izuho said, "…noodles."

"No," Akane replied sternly, "don't say it."

Chika cocked her head to the side, not following. "Huh?"

"But if noodles—"

" _Stop_ ," Akane pleaded.

"…but then what are girls?" Izuho finished, "We need to make this analogy work!"

Oh. "Um…" Chika murmured, thinking for a moment. "…wouldn't we be the bowl?"

Akane and Izuho stared at her, making her feel self conscious. "You know…since you put the noodles in the bowl…?"

"I'm just going to stop this conversation right here," a third voice declared, promptly sitting down beside Chika. "I thought we were over that—besides, I don't want to feel weird eating again."

"…Kitora-san?"

"Don't give me that look," Kitora mumbled, flipping through the menu. "I swear you're going to ruin noodle dishes for all eternity with these conversations you have."

"So this is going to be a thing, huh?" Akane asked, desperate to change the subject. "I mean, at this point we're going to end up as regulars!"

"Their food is good," Chika agreed, "and it's fun hanging out with you guys."

"So Kitora-san," Izuho said, finally dropping the subject of noodles, "anything interesting happen today? The rest of us had a boringly normal day..."

"Today was pretty standard…" Akane mumbled, "nothing out of the ordinary here…"

"Well…" Kitora crossed her arms with a sigh. "I've had to basically babysit Arashiyama-san all day, which was stressful."

"What do you mean by 'babysit'?" Izuho asked, "Isn't he like, twenty or something?"

"Nineteen," Kitora corrected, "and it's more or less Jin-san's fault-he told me to 'keep an eye' on him for the day since he was about to have a bout of 'bad luck'."

"That sounds...ominous…" Chika said, now worried. "What happened?"

The way Kitora sighed in exasperation was answer enough.

"He tripped down a flight of stairs, got a door slammed on him three times-it would've been _seven_ if I wasn't there-almost got hit by a car _twice_ , and got shot with a trion bullet in his _normal body_!" the ace ranted, putting her face in her hands. "I swear if I hadn't followed him around literally everywhere but the _bathroom_ I'm pretty sure he could've _died_ today! And I'm not even _done_ yet!"

"Wait there's more?" Akane asked with a wince, "That must really suck for Arashiyama-san…"

"Oh he keeps smiling and laughing everything off," Kitora mumbled, "even when he got shot he managed to stay conscious enough to laugh it off and forgive that stupid B-Rank before passing out…"

"How'd that even happen?" Chika asked, shuddering at the thought of being in the captain's shoes. "Why wasn't Arashiyama-san in his trion body?"

"We had just finished a team exercise," Kitora replied, "we were all still recovering Trion when this idiot that got promoted yesterday tried to look cool with his new gunner trigger-it hit Arashiyama-san right in the chest."

The other three girls winced in sympathy.

"Don't worry, that kid got demoted instantly when Shinoda-san came after hearing Arashiyama-san's initial screams," Kitora added, though her face looked just as pained as Chika felt. "It was hard to watch…"

There was a somber silence between the four of them, before Chika decided to break it. "Where is he now?"

"Oh he should actually be walking in here any second now," the ace answered, checking her phone. "I wanted a break from babysitting him and came in beforehand. Jin-san said that here would be the most important place to watch out for-he mentioned that Arashiyama-san's life depended on it."

"Yikes," Akane grimaced, "that must be rough…"

"Well you have us to help if something goes wrong!" Izuho exclaimed, "right guys?"

Chika stopped listening as she watched a familiar, blue-clad agent with rice crackers in his hand walk into the restaurant. "Jin-san! Hi!"

The other three girls looked up just in time for Jin to smile and wave as he made his way over to them. "Hey Amatori-kun and company," he greeted, stopping in front of their table. "Kitora already told you about Arashiyama-san?"

"Yeah…" Akane said, "'Bad Luck Jun' is what I'd call him if I was older… 'Arashiyama' doesn't really have a ring to it."

Kitora snorted. "He probably wouldn't even care at this point," she muttered, "Fangirls call him by his first name all the time, so I'm sure he's used to it-besides, he'll just laugh it off as usual."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," Jin commented, quieting the table instantly.

"...w-what do you mean by that?" Chika stammered, eyes wide with worry.

"This isn't gonna be like the 'bitch' incident with Mikumo-kun, is it?" Kitora asked, putting her face in her hands. "I cannot handle that right now…"

"Well you probably should've walked him here, to be honest," Jin said, which elicited a gasp from the girls. "Oh, don't worry, he's going to be fine, if not a bit disgruntled."

The girls let out a sigh of relief. "Good," Kitora stated, "There's only so much more of this I can take…Jin-san?"

Chika looked back to the power elite, who looked to be deep in thought. "...yeah, he'll be fine," he said, "just be ready to call an ambulance…"

That previous sigh of relief was immediately sucked back into a gasp of fear.

"What?!" Kitora demanded, "What's going to happen?! Jin-san-!"

"Oh!" he exclaimed, cutting off the ace "Waitress-san?"

A waitress appeared out of nowhere, holding a tray of drinks. "What?" she asked, most likely annoyed at Jin's nickname.

"A cup of water over here please?" He asked politely with his usual easygoing grin.

Whatever irritation the waitress had must have melted away at his smile. "Here," she said, giggling as she put one of the glasses on the table. "Enjoy~!"

"Thank you very much!" he thanked, bowing his head as she practically floated away.

"Witchcraft," Akane murmured, eyes trained on her phone.

"Jin, what the hell-?" Kitora tried again.

"Here he comes!" Jin said cheerfully, and with another smile briskly walked away. "Bye~!"

The four girls stared with dropped jaws at the power elite practically fled the restaurant.

"...I do _not_ want to deal with this," Kitora whined again, "Ugh…"

"I'm wondering why Jin brought food into a restaurant," Izuho muttered, "isn't that rude?"

"I think there's more pressing matters," Chika pointed out, "like how Arashiyama-san is walking over here right now."

Kitora cursed under her breath. "Act natural," she commanded as he strode over, classic smile still in place.

"Oh, Kitora-kun," Arashiyama greeted as he approached their table, "you had the same idea, huh?"

"I told you I come here often," Kitora muttered, "don't act so surprised."

"Hi Arashiyama-san," Chika greeted, "Kitora-san told us about what happened-are you feeling better?"

"Oh I'm doing fine," he replied, waving a dismissive hand. "A little thing like being _shot_ won't stop me!"

"How did that feel, anyway?" Izuho asked, cocking her head to the side. "Other than it hurting like heck?"

"It was pretty similar to a normal bullet," Arashiyama answered, "blinding pain, and then you slowly start to go numb until you pass out."

"Wait a second," Kitora interrupted, eyes narrowed. "How do _you_ know how a _real_ bullet feels like?"

The captain laughed good naturedly. "Don't worry about it," he replied vaguely, making Chika more than a little worried.

"You must've had quite the day," Akane commented to change the subject, "I would've given up and gone home by now!"

"As great as that sounds, I have paperwork to do," he replied with a nod to the messenger bag Chika belatedly noticed he was carrying, "but I'm sure I'll-"-he was cut off by a yawn, which made Chika notice something odd.

"Why are you still in your trion body?" she asked, "I mean, you're done for the day, right?"

Arashiyama blinked, glancing down at himself as if just noticing his uniform for the first time. "Oh, I guess I was so distracted that I didn't notice…" he answered sheepishly, pulling out the trigger from his pocket. "Trigger, off."

He let out a sigh of relief when his trion avatar vanished...

…only to double over and slam his face onto the table, his entire body limp as it slid and fell to the ground with a thump.

The entire restaurant gasped in shock as Kitora scrambled out of her seat to her captain's side. "A-Arashiyama-san!?" she asked worriedly, eyes wide with terror. "What just happened!?"

At first Chika assumed he was out cold, but luckily she was proven wrong when he shifted with a groan. "S...sorry…" he murmured, turning his head away and coughing. "...oops…"

"I-is that blood!?" the ace nearly screamed, "H-how-!?"

 _Just...be ready to call an ambulance…_

Apparently Akane had taken that warning to heart because she already had her phone in her hand. "Yes, h-he's still conscious-please hurry!"

"I...forgot…" Arashiyama murmured with a painful smile, "After lunch...got hit...by...car…"

Kitora let out an exasperated sigh. "Arashiyama-san, we've talked about this!" she scolded, "You can't just hide your injuries in your Trion body to procrastinate on getting medical attention!"

"Wait, has this happened before?" Izuho asked, laughing nervously. "Is he going to be okay?"

"I'll...be faaah…." the captain's eyes suddenly unfocused as his head lolled to the side, which resulted in Kitora taking the cup of water on the table and splashing it in his face.

"Don't you dare pass out on me!" Kitora hissed, "The last thing you need is to fall into a coma!"

Arashiyama in response, gasping for air. "S...sorry…" he murmured, groaning when he attempted to shift.

"Oh no you don't," Kitora said as she cradled the concussed captain's upper body in her arms, "One of you give me your jacket or something."

Chika compiled the fastest, taking off her uniform jacket and handing it to the ace, who gently dried Arashiyama's face. "Stay with me now," she murmured, voice surprisingly tender. "You'll be just fine…"

"Is this...why you...followed me...around…?" Arashiyama chuckled weakly, "Jin...probably…"

"Don't talk too much," Kitora ordered, "and yes, Jin-san vaguely warned me about today beforehand...apparently I should've walked you here too."

"Eh…" her captain huffed, "It's not…your..."

"Shh," Kitora hushed, "Look, the ambulance is here now, so you'll be fine."

Indeed the ambulance just pulled into the restaurant parking lot, sirens blaring as paramedics rushed in. When they did, Kitora gently handed him off to the paramedics. "I'm going with him," she stated immediately when one of them turned to speak to her.

"T-that's fine," he replied, "He seems to be in rough shape, but he should make it-several broken ribs and a dislocated shoulder, but nothing's poking anything important and that's what matters. Do you know how this happened as well as any family members that must be notified?"

"Good hell…" Kitora muttered, "He said he got his by a car, and I guess I'd call his parents…"

The paramedic nodded and went back to assisting the others, while Kitora turned to Chika. "Here's your jacket back," she said, "I'm gonna go...I can't wait for this damn day to end…"

"Thanks," Chika replied, taking the jacket. "And good luck-I hope Arashiyama-san gets better soon…."

"Tell him that we wish him well," Akane agreed, "and to take care of himself!"

"Yeah," Izuho echoed, "hopefully his luck won't be so bad in the future!"

Kitora smiled ever so slightly. "Fine," she conceded, "It looks like they just finished loading him onto the ambulance, so I should get going."

The three girls waved as the ace left, relief washing over them as the ambulance drove off.

"And we were complaining about having a 'standard' day…" Izuho sighed, "That was so nerve wracking…"

"Good thing Akane-san called the ambulance though," Chika pointed out, "it could've ended badly if not for you."

"W-well Jin-san warned us beforehand," Akane replied, face tinged pink. "I don't think I would've been able to act so fast otherwise…"

"Either way it must've really helped," Izuho insisted, "like Chikako said, things could've been so much worse…"

Suddenly there was a low rumbling sound, causing the table to quiet.

"Eh...we still haven't eaten yet, have we?" Chika murmured meekly, "We should order."

"Let's get some for Kitora-san too!" Akane exclaimed, "'Cause she left before eating and might be hungry!"

"Good idea," Izuho agreed, picking up the menu and flipping through it. "What does she normally get?"

"She usually gets the spicy noodles, right?" Chika asked, chin in her hand as she pondered the ace's taste in food. "I think Osamu-kun mentioned something about her really liking anything spicy."

"She's gotten them every time we've been here," Akane pointed out, "So I'm not surprised."

"But guys," Izuho whined, "There's like, _seven_ different spicy noodle dishes..."

* * *

O-M-A-K-E

"Hi Osamu-kun!" Chika called out, catching the Megane walking towards the restaurant as the three girls were leaving.

"Oh, you're leaving already?" he asked, then noticing the bag in her hands. "What's that for?"

"That's for Kitora-san," Akane answered for her, "She had to go to the hospital before we ordered, so we're bringing her some."

Osamu's eyes widened in shock. "W-what!? Is she okay?"

"Oh she's fine," Izuho answered, "But Arashiyama has a concussion, some broken ribs and a dislocated something-or-other."

"Shoulder," Chika corrected, "He dislocated his-"

"How!?" Osamu demanded, "When did-!?"

"He said he got his by a car," Akane replied, "sometime around lunch I think-but he just kept in his trion body and didn't get medical help until just a little while ago."

The bespectacled brunette grimaced. "Mind if I come with you to visit?"

"Of course not," Chika answered with a smile, "I'm sure Kitora and Arashiyama-san would be thrilled to see you!"

* * *

O-M-A-K-E-II

"Ugh," Kitora sneered, "It's you."

"Hi Kitora-san…" Osamu replied uneasily, the other three girls waving in greeting.

The A-rank captain seemed better compared to when he was concussed in the restaurant, but he still looked worn out-his skin was a pallid color, a white bandage wrapped around his nose and an obvious bruise on his forehead partially covered by another bandage wrapped around his head.

However even with his injuries, he seemed as cheery as ever.

"Aw, don't be like that!" Arashiyama laughed, "I assume Chika told you about what happened?"

"For the most part," Osamu answered, "I also wanted to see if you were okay."

"Also we come bearing gifts!" Izuho declared,a grin on her face as she held up the plastic bag from the restaurant. "Shrimp dumplings for Arashiyama-san and some spicy beef udon for Kitora-san!"

"We noticed you never got to eat before you left," Akane added, "so we decided to order some food to go!"

Kitora looked shocked, eyes wide as she took the bag from the blonde. "...wow…" she murmured, "...thank you."

"Ooh, I can smell that shrimp…" Arashiyama said with a grin, "a welcome reprieve from that gross hospital smell…"

The ace rolled her eyes as she handed him the box of dumplings. "You wouldn't be subjected to it if you had gotten checked out earlier," she scolded, "so you shouldn't complain."

"True," the captain laughed, "but I wouldn't have gotten shrimp dumplings either, so it's a win win!"

"You literally had to get hit by a car to be in this situation," Kitora deadpanned, "That's not a win no matter how you look at it."

"Silver linings, Kitora-kun," he replied sagely, "always look for silver linings."

"Well _you_ need look both ways before crossing the street," she snapped back, earning her a chuckle from everyone else.

* * *

O-M-A-K-E-III

After a while the four left, leaving Kitora and Arashiyama alone once again.

"He, Arashiyama-san," she said, "can I ask you a question?"

"You just did," her captain smirked, "oh don't give me that look, I was joking!"

Kitora rolled her eyes as she leaned back in her chair, searching for the right words to say. "You said you got hit around lunch, right?"

"Yeah," he affirmed, "well, technically right after-I was on my way back to HQ when it happened."

"But...you still came to defense duty after lunch," Kitora stated, "While you may have forgotten hours later, it was _right after_ lunch."

"Yep," Arashiyama agreed, "In hindsight it probably wasn't a good idea, but I wasn't going to skip out because some _jackass_ ran me over."

Kitora's eyes widened at the coarse language. Being the eldest of three as well as a celebrity had made her captain extremely mindful of what he says-the ace was pretty sure that was the first time she heard him curse.

"He even had the nerve to ask for an autograph while I was bleeding out," he continued with a snort, "If I hadn't had my trigger I could've _died_ -hell, you saw me!"

"...Arashi-" she started, but he wasn't even finished.

"Still, being shot was probably the worst," he pointed out with a bitter laugh, "I really thought I _had_ died then. As mean as it sounds, I'm glad that B-Rank got demoted-he clearly needed more training if he's treating a _weapon_ like a damn _toy_."

This time the ace didn't even bother trying to interject as Arashiyama leaned back onto the bed with a pained sigh. "I promised to help Saho with math tonight too..." he murmured, "and it was my turn to cook...dammit..."

" _Jun_ ," Kitora stated informally, catching her captain's attention. "All you have to worry about right now is getting better. The world still turns without you, you know."

Arashiyama was quiet for a moment, then let out a chuckle. "You're right," he replied as his eyelids slowly closed, "Just...force of habit I guess."

His breath seemed to deepen, and Kitora figured he fell asleep.

* * *

 **So many O-M-A-K-E-S**


	5. Kitora Ai, A-Rank Waifu

**Title:** Kitora Ai, A-Rank Waifu

 **Rating:** I for "Inside Jokes"

 **Summary:** Fanatic devotion and bad photoshop lead to yet another hospital visit.

* * *

"I'll get the spicy miso noodle—"

Akane and Izuho giggled, while Chika covered her smile with her hands.

"Are you guys serious?" Kitora demanded, aggressively closing the menu. "When will you get over that?!"

"I-I-can't help it!" Izuho laughed, "It's still so funny!"

"Um...is there's something wrong with them?" the waitress asked timidly, "I know they're too spicy for me, but…"

"No, these two are just being immature," Kitora interrupted, "The food is fine; I wouldn't order it otherwise."

The waitress let out a sigh of relief. "Okay, good," she replied, "What else can I get for you?"

After the rest of them finished ordering, Kitora turned her glare on them. "You guys are ridiculous."

"Aw c'mon, it's like an inside joke," Akane mused, "See look, you're holding back laughter right now!"

Chika giggled at Kitora's red, pouting face. "S-s-shut up! I am _not_ —"

"It's okay to like spicy noodles, Kitora-san," Chika said, "We all have our preferences."

She didn't realize how weird that sounded until Kitora sputtered incoherently. "N-n-not you too! You were supposed to be the _cute_ one!"

The other three kept laughing, and Kitora simply put her head in her hands and groaned.

"Oh my gosh, is that Kitora Ai of Arashiyama-squad?!"

The laughter stopped as three fans surrounded their table. Kitora, who lifted her head at the unfamiliar voices, fought to keep her smile intact. "Hi," she greeted, sitting up straighter as she regained her composure, "I'd love to chat, but—"

"You're busy, we get it," another fan cut off, eyes gleaming. "We just want you to sign something really quick!"

Kitora's eyebrow twitched, probably at the thought of signing autographs again."Well—"

"It's just one thing, we promise!" a third person pleaded, "One of our friends is in the hospital and it'd really really _really_ mean a lot to him!"

Chika noted the ace's smile turned genuine at that. "I guess I can't say no to that," she decided, taking out a sharpie from seemingly nowhere. "What am I signing?"

One person pulled out what looked like a harmless card, but was shoved aside when someone else slammed a giant pillow on the table. "Sign _this_!"

"Oh my-I thought we said we're _not_ doing the waifu body pillow!" the maligned fan hissed, "That's such a stupid idea!"

The three agents rose their eyebrow at the body pillow, and Kitora's face blanched. "...um…"

On the pillow was Kitora's face badly photoshopped onto a woman—who was obviously much older than the agent herself—in a swimsuit. The skin wasn't even close to being the right color, not to mention that a piece of the ace's Border uniform collar was visible by her neck.

"That's _so_ _bad_!" Akane guffawed, "Where did you even _get_ that?!"

"It takes skill to be that bad at photoshop," Izuho laughed, "like, you can't have not tried—you did this on purpose!"

"I-I did _too_ try!" The fan holding the body pillow insisted defensively, "It took me three weeks to finish this!"

"That's...nice…" Kitora murmured with a grimace, "I guess it's the thought that counts…?"

Chika noticed the fan holding the card pouting with his arms crossed. "I think the card would be a better idea," she tried, "because your friend might not have much space to put a big pillow in the hospital."

"I _told_ you!" the card-holding fan exclaimed triumphantly, "Plus you're _garbage_ at photoshop!"

"L-like _you're_ any better!" The pillow holding fan snarked, holding said pillow defensively.

The card holding fan held up his card with a smirk. "I _am_ , thank you very much!" he replied, "I made this pretty card all by my—"

The pillow holding fan plucked the card out of their hands and promptly ripped it in half.

"You son of a —!" The now cardless fan threw a hard jab at the pillow holding fan, resulting in a fist fight right there in front of the table.

"Please don't fight!" Chika shouted, "I'm sure we can tape the card—"

She was suddenly cut off by a stray elbow striking face, promptly sending her back down in her seat as a blinding pain seared her nose. Her vision blurred as the shouting around her became distorted, and the sniper dimly felt her nose running.

"—ka? Ca...ear me?"

Chika clenched her eyes tightly for a brief moment then reopened them, her vision suddenly clear enough to make out Kitora's concerned face before her.

"Kitora...san…?"

"I'm so sorry about my friends," the third fan apologized, bowing her head. "Usually I'm good at reigning them in, but…"

"O-oh, it's okay!" Chika replied, her voice sounding more nasally than usual. "I-it was an accident, I get it!"

"It's _not_ okay, your nose is broken." Kitora chastised, waving down one of the waitresses. "Get me an ice pack, now."

The waitress nodded as she rushed to the kitchen, forcing her way through the crowd that had gathered around them.

Chika then noticed the other two fans lying unconscious on the floor. "Are they—?"

"They'll be fine," the third fan interrupted calmly, "those two knock themselves out on a regular basis. I doubt Kitora-san did much damage."

"I made sure to hold back," Kitora stated, looking down in her hands. "I've got defense duty later, so i didn't bother leaving my trion body."

"You're too soft," the third fan stated, "a few broken bones would've done them some good."

Kitora rolled her eyes at that. "Well I'm not exactly in the mood for an aggravated assault charge, thanks."

Chika noted the disappointment on the third fan's face. "I see."

Kitora noticed too and opened her mouth to comment, but then the waitress returned with both an ice pack and a first aid kit. "Sorry I took so long," she rushed out, "Do you need an ambulance? It's not serious, is it? Will she—"

"Relax," Kitora interrupted, taking both from her. "She'll be fine."

"Here, let me," Akane said suddenly, "I'm good at this."

Kitora raised an eyebrow, but moved out of the way nonetheless. "You better know what you're doing," she warned, "We'll take her to urgent care just in case."

"Border is closer," Izuho pointed out, glancing out the window. "Maybe that'll be faster?"

"Doubtful," Akane answered, taking the ice pack and wrapping it up in one of the cloth napkins on the table. "The nearest ER is only five minutes farther _and_ we'll be helped immediately. If we go to Border we'll have to find the nearest medical quarters which will eat up the additional five minute head start we had."

"You...put a lot of thought into that," Kitora commented, "Should I ask?"

"It's a long story."

Chika winced as Akane gently placed the wrapped ice pack on Chika's face. "I don't think I have to go to the ER," she murmured, "I'm fine, really."

"It doesn't hurt to be safe," Izuho replied with a shrug, "I mean if we don't take you, Mikumo-kun sure will when he finds out."

"Plus I want to visit Arashiyama-san," Kitora mumbled under her breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

Chika laughed as Akane stood up with the slightly melted ice pack. "Well her nose isn't too crooked," she said, "but we ought to still go just in case."

Right as she said that Osamu pushed himself through the crowd, barely catching himself on the table. "Chika are you alright?!" he asked, "What—"

"Stop," Kitora commanded, "panicking won't do her any good. We're about to take her to the ER right now, but if you're gonna freak out you can't come."

"Don't say that…" Chika protested, wincing as her nose began to throb again. "I want Osamu-kun here."

"Might as well," Izuho said, helping Chika up. "The more the merrier, right?"

Realizing she was outnumbered, Kitora sighed. "Alright fine," she conceded, "let's go then."

* * *

O-M-A-K-E

* * *

"Kitora-kun!" Arashiyama greeted as the five of them walked into the hospital room, "I see you've brou—"

His levity vanished when he saw the splint on Chika's nose. "What happened?" he asked, sitting up straighter with a wince. "Are you—"

"I'm fine," Chika assured him, "It was an accident."

"Some rowdy fans hit her," Kitora stated, crossing her arms. "I took care of them."

Arashiyama relaxed a bit, his smile returning. "Well, as long as you didn't hurt them _too_ badly," he chuckled, "I assume I was an afterthought then?"

"Don't be stupid," Kitora scoffed, "I was planning on coming anyway."

"So you _do_ miss me!" Arashiyama declared smugly, "I knew it!"

"I-It's because defense duty is tiresome without you, that's all!" the ace protested, "Don't read too much into it!"

Chika giggles as she watched the two teammates bicker back and forth, the throbbing in her nose slowly ebbing away.

* * *

O-M-A-K-E-II

* * *

"It's a good thing Kitora-san beat up those guys before Mikumo-kun did," Izuho joked, "He might have beat them up even _more_!"

"As if," Kitora scoffed, interrupting Osamu's incoherent noises of denial. "He may be progressing with his trion, but he'd still be lousy in a fight...probably."

"Adding 'probably' to the end does nothing to make that statement any less insulting," Osamu deadpanned, "Besides, I'm not confrontational like that."

"Here we go again…" Akane murmured as Kitora raised her eyebrows and sat up straighter.

"'Not confrontational'?" she asked, "You're _still_ sticking with that? Try telling that to that C-Rank you called a _bitch_."

"Wait _what_?!" Arashiyama demanded, shock written all over his face. "What happened?!"

Osamu groaned while Kitora stared at him with a smug expression. "Why don't you explain yourself, Mikumo-kun?"

"Kitora-san, it wasn't his fault," Chika objected, "Teruteru deserved it."

"Don't forget when he played with Kagura-san's mind!" Izuho chimed in, "That was trippy!"

Arashiyama still looked lost. "Um…" he stammered, "Am I missing something?"

"Yes," Kitora answered bluntly, "It's an...inside joke of sorts."

* * *

 **FINALLY I UPDATED THIS?! WHOAG**

 **I've been kinda busy with work and school, but I'm slowly but surely updating all my stories :D Please bear with me a little longer~!**

 **I'm Still Taking requests btw~!**


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